Thinking Of You
by AudreyCullen10
Summary: I can't dwell on the fact that I might love him and he doesn't want me. I need to figure out how to forget, but how? Rated M for adult themes that will arise
1. Prologue: Purge and Deny

Hi everyone! This is my first attempt at a FanFiction story and I'm pretty excited about it. Online public writing is new to me so please, don't be too mean! Also, this story is not beta-ed. I'm sure I don't have typos anywhere in here though. Sorry in advance for any you may encounter. I currently don't have Microsoft Word on my computer either. Dell had to wipe my hard-drive and I don't have my Office disc right now. It slows down the process of everything and Notepad has no auto correct.**  
><strong>

**Disclaimer**: Stephanie Meyer owns all of Twilight and the characters in the series belong to her. I do however own an Edward Cullen book-bag zipper clip. I haven't owned a book-bag in about 6 years... The clip was on sale and is very pretty. I couldn't NOT buy it.

* * *

><p>Prologue: Purge and Deny<p>

August, 2008

He left.

Without calling to say goodbye or even to say good luck next week. I thought that the relationship we had built the last two years would be able to keep us at least in the friend zone. I told him that if anything, I wanted us to at least remain friends. I valued his friendship. When I needed to talk about how my mom canceled her visit to Forks at the last minute, or how I didn't understand why most of the girls hated me in school, he was there to listen to my sobs into the phone. I think loved him and I think he knew that. Either that or I was just really clingy.

I would worry about him.

When he confided in me that he wanted to join the Army, that it had been an idea in his head for a while, who was I to tell him that it was a bad idea? We had established a 'friends only' policy before he told me and I didn't have the position as a girlfriend to argue that I wanted him to stay. I wanted him to stay with me because I didn't want him to risk his life. I never told him that though. Instead, I encouraged him to follow his instinct, to go with what felt natural. He said he felt like he needed to do something important, something for his country. I knowingly sent him away and that killed me.

I still can't believe that I fooled around with him.

We didn't have sex. He didn't have a condom and I was to afraid to get pregnant before I headed off to college. The way his hands and lips moved over my body, telling me how beautiful I was, moaning my name and asking no one in particular how I could make him feel so good, whispering in my ear that we didn't have to rush anything. It was all amazing and at the time I was glad that Charlie had to work a double and would be at the station overnight. Now, however, I feel like that night and all the other nights leading up to it just teased me, broke me, splintered the cracks that skirted across me that I though he had sealed. In hindsight, at least I was still a virgin. I didn't give myself to someone who wouldn't cherish me.

I was going to forget him.

I was going to go to school and live. I would make friends, meet guys that wanted to get to know me, and take me out, and not be afraid of feeling something for me. The memory of him would fade and be replaced by parties with friends and study sessions that turned into all night distractions and inside jokes. That would be my goal for the next four years. Ink him out and create something better.

He's going to come home eventually though... hopefully.

What would I do then? The next time I see him I'll smile and act- no, BE happy. I will be happy that he's home, safe and alive. I'll tell him that we should get together for drinks and talk about life. What our presents were and what we hoped our futures would become. We won't talk about the past though. We won't talk about how before college I was an emotional girl and he was a guy that didn't want to be too committed to anything. We will not discuss how he broke me because sometime before our inevitable meeting I'm going to realize what love is. I'm going to know and experience what love is, and I'm going to realize that my feelings for him were juvenile and silly. At the end of our meeting I'm going touch his arm and kiss cheek. I'm going to tell him to give me a call whenever he needs to. I'll be there for my old friend who always picked up the phone when I needed him to. I'm going to be sophisticated and worldly and he's going to wish that he kept me at home. He's going to realize that if he asked me to I would have waited for him. He could have had am amazing woman, but it will be too late. I'll be taken... taken and loved.

I just can't believe that he left and didn't speak to me before.

I'm going to write him. He doesn't get to decide how this ends.

Hey,

i dont even know if im going to send this to you. i might just delete it all midway through. i wish i could have spoken to you before you left. im sure that youre tired of everyone telling you to be safe and maybe thats why you didnt call me. i hope youre not upset about what happened last week. even though things didnt happen the way you or i wanted, imglad i got to spend a little time with you before you go off to wherever youre going and i go to college.  
>im really nervous. i dont really know anybody that going to be in seattle. i mean, i know people i graduated with are going there but im not really friends with them. hopefully i have a good roommate, not some sociopath, you know? anyway, i wish i had you here to tell me that im just being paranoid.<br>im going to miss you. i know you dont want me to say it but i want you to be safe. i cant lose you. you mean too much to me. wow, im crying now just thinking...  
>sorry. i shouldnt have said that i was crying. but im not going to delete anything i say in this email because were close enough that i dont need to censor myself with you. youd know, and youd and ask me what i was keeping from you. you always want to get into my head and im letting you in with this. come back to washington in one piece. if you dont, there are a lot of people that will be devastated.<br>i didnt want this to be as emotionally heavy as i think it is right now. sorry... again im just going to say what ive been thinking for the past few days. i care about you. not as a just a friend and not as more then just a friend, does that make sense? in my head it does but reading it to myself i feel like im talking in circles. i care. more then you think.  
>youre leaving with things on an awkward note between us... its not your fault. we both knew that we both had to leave forks. i dont want that night to be a mistake to you because it isnt to me. you made me feel special. god, thats so cheesy. its true though. i felt good that night.<p>

so i read through this whole email and its such a ramble. ugh i hate when i do that, say too much. you always tell me that i dont and that you get what im trying to say when i say it. i hope you understand what im saying in this because i hardly do. if you feel weird about everything i get it. (not just that night... you leaving, me leaving... whatever). you have a lot on your plate and you should be focused. you NEED to be focused. so dont feel obligated to write me back in a timely manner (even though i REALLY hope that you do). do what you need to do and know that if you ever need me im a computer or phone call away. and even if i cant get to you ill tell you what i think. well thats all i have to say i think. i leave in two days and im nervous as hell. i hope i dont fail at college.

Thinking of You,  
>Bella 3<p>

* * *

><p>Sooooooo, what do you think?<p>

I'm dying to know! Leave a review! Talk to me! My nerves are killing me!


	2. Goodbyes and Greetings

**Disclaimer**: Stephanie Meyer owns all of Twilight and the characters in the series belong to her. I DID write a letter similar to the one in the Prologue when i was a freshman. Writing that was... _fun_

* * *

><p>Chapter 1: Goodbyes and Greetings<p>

Move-In Day, 5AM

I made sure the truck bed cover was secured and the tailgate was locked correctly. I didn't need any of my stuff to fly out the back of the car while I was driving on the 101.

I adjusted the ties on my purple and U-Dub hoodie and considered changing out of the dark gold gym shorts I had on as the early morning breeze that gave me gooseflesh. It would be warmer once the sun came up. The gold 'Let There Be Light' lettering on the front of the hoodie made me pray that the sunlight came soon.

"Now, are you sure you have everything?"

"Yes."

"Is your tank full?"

"Yes."

"Gas money? Is your cell phone charged?"

"Yes, Dad. I'm all set." Who knew Charlie would worry so much.

The drive to Seattle was three and a half hours. I was giving myself four and a half. Google Maps and my GPS didn't know that my truck couldn't go over 60mph. Move-in time was listed at ten and I wanted to be the first person to get to my suite. I didn't want to be the one stuck with a crappy bed.

"I know you don't want me to follow you because of the cruiser but I can drive up with the Clearwaters. Leah is moving in today and since they're taking two cars there should be room. Harry said they didn't mind. I can just call the station and tell them that I won't be there until late afternoon."

"I'll be fine, Dad. There's a welcome team on campus to help with everything. You don't need to come. If you work tonight you'll need sleep anyway and you can't sleep if you're driving to and from Seattle."

"... Well I guess you're right then. I want you to call me whenever you make a stop."

"OK."

"And as soon as you get to the campus."

"Of course."

"And if anyone gives you trouble I want you to call me. I know a few police captains in Seattle. I doubt you'll get into anything but just in case..."

A smile crept onto my face and I shook my head "Alright, Dad. I'll call, I promise."

"Well, this is it then, kid. You're moving out."

"I'm not moving out, Dad. I'm just going to college. I'll be home on weekends and holidays." I shook my head at Charlie's expression. Dad was fine up until now. I didn't know what was going on. This must be what Empty Nest Syndrome looked like.

Somehow we ended up hugging clumsily and Dad's hold on me began to push the floodgates. I felt the lump in my throat as I spoke, trying to keep the hysteria inside. "I put dinners in the freezer for you. There are more out back in the deep freezer when the ones in the fridge are gone. I wrote the instructions on the tops of them. Call me if you can't read them, OK." I wouldn't cry. I couldn't cry in front of my dad. He wouldn't know how to handle that and neither would I.

I let him go and gave him a watery smile. "Well, I guess this is goodbye, kid. I'll miss you around here."

"Bye, Dad." I hugged him again and walked to the cab of the red truck. In the rear-view mirror I could see the worried look on his face. I waved out the window as I pulled out of the driveway going towards the interstate.

My nerves hadn't settled yet. Between school and the letter, I was a wreck. Ever since I sent that email last week, I'd been on edge. I constantly checked my inbox. Every new alert for an email made me sick with anxiety. I'd never gotten a reply and I wasn't sure how I felt about that. It was like I was on a roller coaster, riding to the top when at the last minute the declining slope would lift and become straight. Between that packing, and making sure Charlie wouldn't have to eat take-out for a good month and a half, I'm not sure how I managed to sleep. I'd gotten a solid five hours last night before I woke up at four. The thermos of coffee that was in the cup holder would be all I would be running on until I got settled in at my suite.

Somehow, I was lucky enough to get into Stevens Court at the University of Washington. It was an on campus apartment complex that was open all year for the residing students and I had my own room. Even luckier, I only had one suite-mate. There weren't many doubles in Stevens Court, and since returning students that lived there usually stayed instead of moving off campus, I thought it was a little weird that they would give the apartment to two freshmen. I'd emailed my suite-mate a few times, she wasn't a quick replier but she told me that she was excited and that she'd had a few color palates already made up for the living room and kitchen and I could decide which one I liked the most once we were moved in.

Once I reached Port Angeles, I stopped to fill up my tank. I called Charlie to update him but he didn't answer. I guess he decided to get some more sleep before going to the station. I willed myself not to check my email but I did have two texts, one from Angela and another from Jessica. Angela was one of the few girls I had become friends with after I decided to live with my Dad. She was quiet and didn't push. She was going to UW too, but she was already staying in Seattle with family. Jessica was another story. She was the first person that was nice to me when I moved to Forks. She introduced me to her friends and inviting me to her 'girls night out' trips to Port Angeles, but when some of her more popular friends decided that I wasn't 'up to par' she decided that I was a threat to her position in high school society. Every time she ended up arguing with one of her friends or her on again/off again boyfriend, Mike, she would call me to lend her a sympathetic ear. I didn't want to blow her off like she did to me so I listened, I kept her at arms length, though. Most of her clique decided they wanted to go to the community college or somewhere out of state instead of UW, so after graduation Jessica decided to renew or friendship. Every weekend she called and invited me to Mike's house parties, and in the beginning I would go, but after a while I was over holding her hair while she puked in the bathroom. Angela went with me a few times and I was OK with being there with her, but most of time she was busy for her boyfriend Ben and couldn't come. Eventually I just told Jessica I wanted to spend time with Charlie before I left, which was partially true. Every night I was invited to a party and didn't want to go, I would have dinner with Dad and sit with him while he watched the ESPN game recaps. He would attempt to try to explain why each trade was important or who got the better deal but soon after my confusion would win over.

I texted them both back saying that I was on the road and would let them know when I was settled in Seattle, then got back in the car with my coffee thermos refilled. I turned on the radio to fill the emptiness in the truck as I thought about the summer. If I wasn't with Charlie or working at the Newton's sporting good store, I was with- him. "God, I can't even think his name. How pathetic am I?"

Our summer together didn't actually happen until the middle of July. Basic training was four weeks and when he came back he already had his assignment. He'd be leaving August 13th, right before I'd be going to UW.

"I need to FORGET about it!" The loudness of my voice startled me. My lack of sleep was making me a bit crazed. This was going to be a long day.

The sun was rising behind the trees and hills as I neared Sequim. One thing that I did learn to appreciate after I moved to Washington was nature. Living in Phoenix with my mom, Renee, was great. I loved the desert and the heat and sun. It was so different from Olympic Peninsula. When I got to my dad's I think I was in sensory overload for a few weeks. There was so much green everywhere, in the sky where the treetops met the clouds and somehow in the piney smelling air. Life was rampant here and although the desert had its own kind life, you usually didn't see it until the night when it was cool enough to be outside. Washington air was always woodsy and the sky that was never as blue as the sky in Arizona. I definitely learned to love the nature in Washington, just not green. I was tempted to pull over and watch the sun come up over Sequim Bay. Surprisingly it wasn't even 7AM and there was still two hours until I reached Seattle. I didn't want to take the chance of falling asleep in the truck though.

An hour and a half later, after Sequim, Gardiner, Maynard and the Squamish Harbor, I was finally at the Bainbridge Island ferry that would take me into the city. I'd gotten there just in time to make the 8:35 ferry. I called dad at the station but the deputy said that he was out. I left Charlie a message and went to walk around the ferry to stretch my legs. During the half hour ride I texted Angela. She was excited to show me around the campus, saying that she had routed directions to all of her classes and knew a few good places we could have lunch when we had time. She also told me about some upperclassmen she had met who invited her to a party. In high school she was quiet and reserved. It looked like she was ready to break out of her shell a little bit, I was proud of her.

Off the boat, I maneuvered to the UW campus. There was some traffic, considering that most people were going toward the University but I managed to get there in about twenty minutes. I stopped at one of the traffic directors and was directed to Stevens Court which was full of families moving things into the buildings. After I got done with the paperwork in the main office, I was given more directions to my suite.

Building K, third floor, no elevators. I suddenly wished that Charlie had come along, I had a mini fridge and a bookshelf from IKEA in the back of my truck and they were heavy. With my new apartment and mailbox keys, I rode to the front of Building K. Figuring that it would be easier to take the lighter stuff up first, I decided to take a bin of clothes. Once reached the top of the stairs, I saw that the front door was open. There four guys in what was supposed to me my apartment and they were huge.

"Uh, hi, is this 308," I said as I knocked on the open door. Obviously it was because the brass numbers on the door clearly said 308.

As all of the guys turned to me I heard my name, "Isabella? is that you? is that Isabella Swan?" Hidden behind the masses of muscle, a girl in a pink Huskies tank top and shorts came running towards me quickly. "Hi! I can't believe you're here! I'm so excited to finally meet you." She was beaming eagerly and pulling me into the apartment, past the kitchen area and into the living room. There were a lot of boxes in the room already

"Mary Brandon, Hi." I smiled timidly at the guys in the room and looked back at her.

The girl in front of me was small. Standing next to my 5'5" frame she was barely 5 feet even. Her skin was slightly tanned and she had huge gray eyes. When she blinked she look owl-like, all knowing and intuitive at the same time. Her hair was cropped short and layered, stopping at her shoulders and her nails are painted pink and manicured.

"Please, I haven't answered to Mary since I was 9. Everybody calls me by my middle name, Alice. Do you have a lot of things? Are you parents coming up? The guys here can help you. Whats you car look like?" She spoke quickly, I almost wanted to tell her to slow down.

"Umm, I drove here by myself, and yeah, I guess I could use some help. I have a mini fridge and a bookshelf in my truck that's pretty heavy." I put the clothes bin down and turned back to the door to show the guys where I was parked when Alice grabbed my arm.

"They can handle it, right boys?" She beamed at them earnestly and they just smiled and shook their heads.

"Uh... OK? It the red pick-up by the entrance."

When Alice and I were the only ones in the living room she smirked at me. "Cute upperclassmen with muscles will do anything for girls in need. Now that you're here I wanted to asked you something. I hope its not a big deal." Alice looked at me nervously. She looked like she would break out in a sweat as she smiled at me again, "One of the rooms is smaller BUT has a bigger closet. The smaller room only has a twin bed and the bigger one has a full sized bed and is closer to the bathroom and-"

"Its fine, I'll take the smaller room. you can have the bigger one I don't really care, Alice its no bi-"

"NO!" Alice looked at me pleadingly. Her gray eyes had this desperate look in them, like I was holding the only bottle of Dasani in the Mojave Desert. "I don't know how many clothes you have but the extra closet space would be a Godsend to me. I brought a dresser that I have to put together but I SERIOUSLY over-packed. And my mom is driving up from California next week with more stuff."

"Oh! you can have the bigger closet. I don't even have this much stuff in my truck," I said as I gestured to the stuff.

"You're the best, Isabella. Were going to be friends, I can tell already."

"If were going to be friends you have to call me Bella. I'm only Isabella in life or death situations."

"Deal."

The guys came back up with my stuff, and two trips later, my truck was empty. I was antsy at the fact that some of their eyes on me as Alice and I promised to repay them for their help. I turned to my door and went off to get my bedroom situated, another two hours later I had most of my boxes unpacked.

There was a light brown wooden dresser and a matching desk and chair in my room, as well as my full sized bed. The large closet with sliding mirrored doors had most of my blouses hanging and there was a wall shelf on the right side of the closet that I put my clean towels on. There was still plenty of room in the closet, even though I had unpacked most of my clothes. I wondered exactly how many clothes Alice had, considering that the closet in her room was bigger then mines and she still needed extra room.

I wanted to lay down but I didn't have sheets for my bed since I had brought some old, twin sized ones from home. I would go to a Target or Wal-Mart so I could get food and whatever else I needed in one stop once I had a list of what I needed.

After I made my list, I went to Alice's room to see if she wanted to ride with me. Her door was open and there were things; clothes, shoes, large swatches of fabric, and boxes of accessories, everywhere.

"Uh, hey, Alice," I knocked on her open door and took a step into the battlefield. Her head popped out of her closet, eyes not really focusing on me, She looked like a deer in the wild that had heard a twig snap. What did I just walk into? "I'm making a run to Wal-Mart, and the market. Do you want to come with me?"

"Yeah, give me a minute."

"What are you doing exactly?"

"Unpacking. What did you think I was doing?"

"Recreating a Shel Silverstein poem."

"What?"

"Nevermind. I'll just be waiting out here." I walked back into the living room to call Charlie, who picked up on the second ring.

"How are things? Did you get lost? Why haven't you called me?

"Sorry Dad. I'm here and getting settled."

"Well why are you just calling? If I weren't so busy I would've driven up there myself."

"I had to get my stuff out of the car and then I started unpacking. Some guys helped me for the most part though. I called when I got in the city and left a message at the station."

"Boys were helping you unpack, Bella?"

"What? No! They helped me bring my stuff up to my room."

"They were in your bedroom?"

"No! They helped me bring stuff up to my suite. No one has been in my room but me, Dad, I promise."

"Maybe you should come back home. Those boys up there might... you know... try to-"

"Dad, no," I ended up yelling into the phone, keeping Charlie from finishing his thought. I had to cut hm off because he went from 'nervous parent' to 'paranoid dad' entirely too fast. "I'm going to stay in Seattle and go to school. I'm smart enough to know whats safe. I'm not going to do anything dangerous or reckless, you should know that by now." I let out a sigh and plopped onto the couch. I _really_ wish I had sheets. I was exhausted and just wanted to take a nap. This conversation was going to give me a headache.

"_Isabella_, I know you're capable of making the right decisions but I know how boys your age think. They only want one thing."

"_Charlie_, do you really think I can't decipher who's untrustworthy and who's a genuinely nice person?"

"That's not what I'm saying Bells."

"Then this conversation is moot. I'm not coming home and I'm not going to get caught up with some boy who just wants to use me for sex."

Alice came out of her room just then, wide-eyed and smirking. 'Parents,' she mouthed.

'Dad.' she shook her head tried not to laugh. "Dad, I'm going out to get some groceries and other stuff with my roommate. Can I talk to you? And when I say 'talk' I don't mean to finish this conversation."

"Alright Bella. I'll call you when I leave the station. I might be staying for the late shift tonight, so don't stay up too late for my call. Love you, Kid"

"Love you to, Dad"

Alice was typing something into her phone and looked to me when I got off the couch. "I'm making a list of basic stuff we'll need. I don't mind sharing food if you don't. I don't even know how to cook though, so-"

"I don't mind sharing either. I'm used to making food for at least two people anyway. We can just split everything down the middle and get stuff that we want for ourselves separately."

"You can cook? Bella Swan, I think I love you. Takeout gets expensive after a while and I didn't know how I was going to afford pizza and Chinese every other night!"

I smiled bashfully at Alice. Cooking was something I had to learn when I was younger. Renee would decide to get creative in the kitchen and it usually ended up being inedible and a pizza would be ordered. When I was twelve I had to cut her off ; she tried to make baked potatoes in the microwave. _'How was I supposed to know that the aluminum would catch fire if I put it in there?' T_he next day I made her buy me a cookbook and confined her to food prep with the knives and salads. When I got to Washington, Charlie was relieved that I hadn't gotten my mom's cooking skills.

We walked down to the parking lot and Alice pointed to a massive white SUV. "That's my mom's. She's bringing my VW when she comes. It's a gas guzzler but it was so necessary. Where's your car?" I pointed to my truck and Alice looked at me like I had just confessed to burning down an orphanage. "I can't get in that. I'm sorry but... I can't. I'm driving"

Riding with Alice had to be one of the most terrifying things I'd ever done. The campus was still pretty packed with new movers but she revved her engine more then she hit the break. While we were driving, we talked about our families. I told her about living with Renee and Nevada and moving to Charlie's in Washington. She was from a separated family to. She was born in Mississippi and had a younger sister. When she was twelve her dad left her mom for another woman. Her younger sister, who was eight at the time, didn't want to leave Mississippi and go to California where their mom was originally from, so Alice stayed behind for her and was pretty much terrorized by her step-mother. At fourteen things got physical in the Brandon house and her dad pretty much put her out so she went live with her mom. She found her niche in Sacramento in her mom's clothing boutique and wanted get a business degree to help franchise the brand and a minor in art and fashion design because she helped from time to time with the designing. Alice gushed about her mom, their relationship was so different form the one I had with Renee. I knew she loved me dearly but she was never motherly. Renee was more free-spirit than she was maternal.

Inside of the store I took over the food shopping. Alice tried to get me to get pricy food, saying that she wanted to pay for it all, at least this time, since she wasn't cooking. I insisted on paying half and staying in my normal price range. While we were arguing on whether to get t-bone or flank steaks, I heard me name being called.

"Bella, honey, hi!"

"Sue? Hey, how are you?" The woman with coppery skin, bright smile, and a native looking headband holding back her long jet black hair hugged me tightly. I thought of Sue Clearwater as the Native American version of June Cleaver, if Mrs. Cleaver was bad ass. Charlie told me that when Harry Clearwater had a stress induced heart attack a few years ago, she made him temporarily step down as a tribal elder and she took his place. When he was healthy enough return to the council she stayed on anyway because she felt that the women of the tribe needed a representative. She was a teacher at the grade school on the reservation and helped run the family's general store. Before I moved to Forks, she made sure that Charlie had a home-cooked meal at least once a week. To me, Sue was pretty much the go-to when you needed an image of the mother of the new millennium.

"Bella, we're just getting some things for Leah's room. Shes around here somewhere. Oh, you should have dinner with us before we leave later on!"

I was pretty sure Leah Clearwater hated me. When I first moved to Washington Charlie and her parents thought it would be a good idea for us to hang out. After about a month of the both of us dogging it with excuses, I hung out with her and her cousin Emily. They got really high and I got uncomfortable and left. When I got back to Charlie's he smelled the weed on my clothes, called Leah's parents and she got sent off to some family that lived in Sequim for a year. I definitely wasn't her favorite person."That's okay, Mrs. Clearwater, I don't think I'll have that much free time. Alice and I really wanted to get our suite situated, and I've been up all morning so I'm sure I'll be pretty tired, and-"

"Oh please, Bella, I promised your father that I'd check on you before we left to go back to Forks. Alice, you said," Mrs. Clearwater said motioning to Alice, "well I'd love for you to come too. Our treat. You can get to know Leah. She doesn't really know many people here in Seattle. Most of her friends are at home and I would love for her to be able to see a few familiar faces once classes start."

"We'd love to come, Mrs. Clearwater," Alice replied. I looked over at her and she just gave me a reassuring smile and a wink.

"Oh great! I'll just give you my number, Bella, your father gave me yours, and I'll call you girls around 7ish when we get Leah's room unpacked and are finished with the Freshman Parents Meeting." I put Sue's number in my phone and gave her a hug before she went to find the rest of her family.

"Alice, what was that? Leah Clearwater hates me," I whispered loudly since I wasn't sure if Sure was still close by.

"Trust me Bella, everything is going to work out just fine." She smiled confidently at me and walked towards a frozen food isle, leaving me alone by the steaks.

Back at Stevens Court, we debated on how to get all the bags in the SUV up to the third floor. I didn't want make two trips to the third floor and Alice thought that we should carry just the food up and get everything else when that was put away. With about a dozen reusable bags each, we made our way up to our suite. There was a note taped on the door that I ran to get when we dumped the bags onto the table.

_Hello 308, _

_I hope that your moved in and comfortable in your suite. Tonight there is a mandatory meeting for all residents of building K in the common room to address some basic rules of Stevens Court, Please, be there at 7pm, sharp. _

_*All freshman please note that you are required to stay afterward the general meeting for a Freshman Informatory meeting._

_**Whoever is not able to make it tonight will be required to attend a meeting tomorrow at 7am, regardless if you've lived in Stevens Court prior to this year._

_-Your Resident Adviser_

Alice looked over the note and then glanced to me before walking to the refrigerator, "Well, it's almost six now. I guess we can't have to go to dinner tonight, can we, Bella. What a shame, I was looking forward to meeting Leah."


	3. Stevens Court and Rosalie's Castle

**Disclaimer**: Stephanie Meyer owns all of Twilight and the characters in the series belong to her. I did however, have a total of SEVEN official and unofficial roommates my first year of college. Thank God I also had my own bedroom...

* * *

><p>Stevens Court and Rosalie's Castle<p>

7:53pm

When I called her, Sue was upset that Alice and I couldn't come to dinner, but made up promise to have lunch with her and Leah in two weeks when she had to visit Seattle again. "Oh, next time will be better anyway, it'll just be a girl's day"

I told Alice the story about the pot and she laughed, saying that I was unreasonably paranoid about Leah. "You're acting like she's going to put an evil spell on you so that you smell like cow manure around cute guys. For all you know she's over it."

"When I was eight we had to play together and every time I was winning in Apples to Apples she would start chanting under her breath. I'd start losing and Leah would just laugh.

"Wow, now I know what to do when I don't want to clean the bathroom. I do know some Wiccan magic you know." Alice giggled as we walked into the common room of Building K, which was actually a game room next to the laundry room on the first floor next to the stairs that led to our suite.

There were about 100 chairs set up and it looked like we were the last ones to come in. There was a girl speaking already and the only open seats were in the front row, in front of her, go figure.

As we sat down the speaker, a tall blond, abruptly stopped speaking and glared at us. "You're late. As the female Building Adviser for Apartment K I'd like it if you two girls would get here at a proper time in the future. I doubt that everyone else here appreciates the interruption."

"Uh, we're actually a few minutes early. I guess you must've started a little earlier than what was on the note. But, sorry everyone." Alice turned to give an apologetic smile to everyone else that was here. I glanced behind me and nobody really seemed affected by our entrance and turned back around to our building adviser. She looked pissed as she cut her hazel eyes at Alice.

"When everyone else is already here and has been so for at least five minutes, I start talking, so you two _are late_."

"Well that's not our fault. You deciding to start early doesn't make us late so I guess _you're_ to blame!"

Alice folded her arms across chest and matched the blonde's stare. Somehow I don't think that a death match with our RA would end well for us.

"No worries, you're here now, ladies. Next time could you try to come a little earlier, though? Rosalie's motto is, 'the sooner you start, the sooner you finish.' We'll just catch you both up on the little that you missed." The guy next to Rosalie, the RA, was a blond to; his hair was long and sandy and pulled into a ponytail. He was wearing a dark brown leather jacket with what looked like flag patches sewn on it. He had an accent but I couldn't place it; it could've been Southern or Midwestern, I couldn't tell.

"Garrett Jones and Rosalie Hale, building advisors of apartment K for the 08-09 school year. Like Rosalie was saying when you walked in, parking is assigned by building, you get first dibs on a spot based in how early your completed the university vehicle registration in the summer. Parking rules go into effect tomorrow on midnight, the official beginning of the school semester"

"Dammit," I heard Alice mutter under her breath. I had my registration finished the day they sent the email about on-campus parking and got a letter in the mail a few days after saying that I had it completed. I guess Alice didn't do hers as soon as I did; it did take her weeks to reply to me when we found out that were going to be roommates.

"That's right folks, as I said _before_ I was interrupted; parking rules will be enforced by me and Garrett. Sign-up for that will happen after this meeting and before we speak to any freshmen residents.

"Secondly, any parties must be approved by Garrett or me. We need to have an approximate number of attendees. There is a 'no alcohol' rule enforced on campus but since mostly grad students and upperclassman live at Stevens there are some provisions depending on the ages of the people living in the apartment. If you're caught giving alcohol to under 21s, you'll be fined up to three hundred dollars per person." There were cheers from guys behind us and groans from a few girls, Rosalie ignored it.

"Trash is another subject. There are trash cans all over the grounds at Stevens Court, use them. If we get too many complaints from the groundskeepers _EVERYONE_, including us get fined. The dumpsters are in the parking lots, I'm sure everyone knows where they are, no leaving trash outside of your apartment door for the courtesy of your next-door neighbors."

"If we get complaints from your neighbors and have to make a visit, we can give you a fine of our choosing. I don't want to have to walk up three or four flights of stairs because of garbage so do yourself and me a favor and just make sure the complaints are kept to a minimum"

"I bet she doesn't want to walk because she looks like she lives in heels. I mean seriously who wears shoes like that just for a twenty minute meeting?" Luckily Alice's comment seemed to go unnoticed. I glanced at Rosalie's shoes, and entire outfit for that matter, and she was a bit... _showy_. The girl had on what looked like four or five-inch heels that were covered in rhinestones or crystals, skin-tight deep purple jeans and a thin white lacy blouse. I guess I'd be pissed to if I got dressed up and then had to go deal with someone else's garbage.

After a few general rules on noise, guest parking and the laundry and game rooms, Garrett and Rosalie both pulled out papers. "I'll be calling names and you'll be going to Rosalie to decide your parking spot. If you're not a freshman and don't need a parking spot you're free to go and have a good night guys." with that about a half of the people in the room left.

"I'm going to get the worst spot ever, I just know it. When did you finish your car registration Bella?"

"In June, when they sent out registration emails, you?"

"Three weeks ago. This sucks, my poor car will _hate_ me." I wanted to goggle at Alice's dramatics but after about four names I heard Garrett say my name. Alice looked even more miserable as I stood up.

When Rosalie looked up to me she rolled her eyes and huffed through her nose. "Isabella Swan. You're lucky." There was a map of our building with green highlighted spaces on certain spots of the diagramed parking area. "Initial and date the green spot you want and I'll give you your parking pass that you keep in your car at all times. If it's not there you'll get towed."

There were no spots taken by the stairs that led to our apartment so I took the nearest one to our staircase and went to sit by Alice. Ten minutes later we were the only ones two left and Alice could finally pick her spot. "But that can't be the only space left! You really expect me to keep my car next to a dumpster? Why can't I park here," Alice pointed to somewhere on the map.

"You can't park there because the non-highlighted spaces are for the other buildings. You should've had your papers in sooner." Rosalie had a smug look on her face; she was enjoying Alice's protests. Garrett looked like he wanted to stay out of it all. "Even if I wanted to there's nothing I can do for you. The parking lot is already at capacity and you're lucky you got this space as it is. Believe it or not other people in Steven's Court turned their registration later than... July 28th. Take your spot and be happy."

Alice looked at me and walked back to our seats. I looked around just as the building advisors were packing up. "So I guess we're the only freshman in Building K?"

"WHAT?" Rosalie looked towards me and Alice. "You two can't be the only ones." Instead of a look of surprise on the blonde's face there was irritation.

"I'm going to get these parking forms down to the main office Rose." Walking past the two of us, Garrett whispered _'good luck'_ and was out of the door in a hurry. This wasn't going to be good.

"Ok let's get a few things straight, girls." Her eyes were narrowed and arms were folded as she faced us, "I am not you mother, sister, or friend. Don't expect to be able to turn to me when you get stressed out in your introductory courses or when you boyfriend breaks your heart. I don't care about your minuscule issues; I have my own priorities so I suggest you find your own healthy way of coping. Second, you two are the only freshman in the building. If you fuck up, I look bad and I _never_ look bad. Finally, you don't want to be on my bad side. There are rules to be followed; housing's rules and my rules. If you don't follow them you risk my position. I don't want any complications with either one of you. You aren't home any more so it's time to be adults." Without waiting for any comments from us, Rosalie walked quickly and gracefully to the back door, "Welcome to Steven's Court, ladies," and with that she was gone.

"Was that serious?"

"Yes, Alice, I think it was." The silence of the room was quickly filled with Alice's laughter and my muffled giggles.

Eventually, after our laughing, we made our way back to our apartment. After saying good night to Alice and plopping on my bed, that now had sheets that I could sleep on, I realized exactly how tired I was. I reached for my phone and checked my email- nothing. I expected that, but the confirmation hurt a bit. I was still embarrassed about sending that email only to have it be ignored. I was sure he had gotten it. Was I wrong this whole time… was I a fling? The not knowing was the worst part. In my mind I told myself that even if he said 'sorry, Bella, can we just be friends, sorry if I led you on' I would be fine. I just wanted an honest reply.

A text interrupted my internal thought.

_**Hey B! I'm going to a later party tonight. Wanna come? Cute guys and drinks ;) – Ang**_

I looked at the time on my phone, it wasn't even 10pm and I was beat.

_**I'm soo tired. I've been up since 4 and JUST got a chance to sit down. Raincheck? – B**_

_**Oh boooo :( I haven't seen you in forever. We're def having lunch tomorrow. I'll text you whenever I wake up – Ang**_

_**Sorry. ttyl – B**_

I heard my phone ping soon after but couldn't move to read whatever message I got. All I felt was my body shutting down as sleep wrapping itself around me. 

10:16am

"Wake up, Bellaaaaa"

"Wha-"

"It a beautiful morning, time to get up!"

"What's going on"

"It's Sunday silly, let's seize the day!" Was this what I was going to be living with? Didn't the Lord rest on the seventh day?

"Give me a minute." I squeezed my eyes tightly as Alice left my room, closing my door behind her. A few minutes later, the dream I was trying to re-enter was soon forgotten as music, and Alice's voice, blared through my wall

_I got a pocket, got a pocketful of sunshine._

_I got a love, and I know that it's all mine._

_Oh, oh whoa_

_Do what you want, but you're never gonna break me._

_Sticks and stones are never gonna shake me. _

_No, oh whoa_

Was this serious? How can someone that tiny be so _awake_. I looked to my alarm clock, 10:21. _Well, I'm never going to get back to sleep, I might as well be productive._

To her credit, Alice was right about it being a beautiful day. She must've opened my blinds before waking me up so there was plenty of natural light coming in. Summers in Washington were really pretty in general, but on the rare day that there were no clouds in the sky at all, it was really breathtaking. The courtyard outside of my window was full of green trees and the lawns were manicured perfectly. Seattle wasn't as green as Forks but this was still a great view.

I walked to the bathroom to brush my teeth; it felt like something decided to take residence in my mouth. After cleaning out the tub I went to get a towel and my shower caddy so I would bathe. After showering and throwing on some clothes, I went to the kitchen to find food. Alice glided out of her room in dark purple jogging shorts and a matching gold and purple tank top just as I reached the fridge.

"Isn't it beautiful outside? I think I want to go for a run, you wanna come?"

"No thanks. I think I just want to hang out today before classes start tomorrow. I have to go pick up my textbooks and I'm supposed to have lunch with a friend today, anyway."

"Oh… well, have fun with your friend. I'll see you later if I don't get back before you leave." Alice's eyes turned down at me words. She looked a little disappointed.

"Alice, you're more than welcome to come. Angela's nice; you two would get along great"

"Really? I don't want to intrude or anything." Alice's eyes were wide and hesitant.

"No, not at all. You'll love Angela. I'm sure you two will really get along. If you want to, we can go get our books together and meet up with her."

"Well, ok. I just don't want to be in the way"

"You won't be, trust me. I want you to be friends with my friends." I really did mean that, too. Alice was nice. She was in a new place without anyone familiar, just like I was when I moved to Forks. Seeing her being nervous about being in the way was really surprising, considering how bold she was yesterday.

Alice walked into her room to change as I texted Angela about Alice coming to lunch with us. Hopefully Angela would be up and ready by the time I done getting my textbooks. The bookstore would likely be packed. Thankfully, I preordered everything I needed so all I had to do was pick them up.

Driving to the University Book Store was easy enough, navigating through it was another story, though. There were parents with their kids and confused looking students walking around with book lists. I didn't even know where to go to pick up reserved books and all the attendants were busy running back and forth trying to help different sets of customers.

"Alice do you have your book list?"

"Book list?" Alice's tone reminded me the time I asked Charlie what he wanted for dinner after he caught the end of an Animal Planet documentary I'd been watching. A cheetah had taken down a gazelle and Charlie had this glazed over look of awe and surprise. I looked over and Alice's eyes were focused on free-for-all in the bookstore.

"Yeah… you know, to see what books you need for the semester."

"Oh… No. I guess I should have one of those, right. Maybe I can just wing it. I know what classes I have."

"Do you know what class section you're in? Some classes might have a different book list."

"Oh, well I guess I'll have to come back tomorrow. Do you have your book list?"

"I preordered everything I needed. I just need to find out where to go to get them."

"I guess I should've done that… Hey, look there's Garrett!"

"Hey girls," Garrett had on a purple University Bookstore shirt. "Can I help y'all with anything? I'm coming back on shift now."

"Hi. I just need to pick up the books I pre-ordered."

"I'm headed that way now, I can help you. How was your meeting with Rosalie last night?"

"She's a bitch," Alice, now completely out of her haze, blurted out without hesitancy.

"Naw, she's pretty ok, she just has a lot on her plate being an RA. She's actually an okay person to hang out with once you get to know her."

"I won't hold you to that. I'm going to go look around Bella."

"She's a firecracker, huh." I turned to see Garrett smirking and shaking his head at Alice's retreating form.

"Who, Alice? Yeah, it'll be something to get used to."

"Rose really is a pretty cool person."

"She didn't seem that way when she was telling us not to come to her if we ever needed any help. She seemed more like a prison warden than anything."

"Trust me, everyone has their own story." I looked at Garret confused as he walked behind the counter of the staff desk. I was having a hard time believing that my new RA had a legitimate reason for acting so impolite. He simply smiled at me winked.

After getting my books, thanks to Garrett, I found Alice in the biography section, trying to decide between Coco Chanel and Gianni Versace. Walking out of the store I called Angela to see about lunch. She sounded like she had a huge hangover and said she wasn't coming outside until the sun stopped being so bright. I told Alice and we decided to just find somewhere to have lunch that was close by. We decided to just head back to Stevens Court and order a pizza.

Alice said something about planning her first day outfit and ran into her room after inhaling three slices. I got my books together for tomorrow. I tried to put thought into what I would wear tomorrow but there wasn't too much to choose from.

I picked up Pride and Prejudice, it was the only thing I hadn't reread this summer and it was so east to get lost in it, before I knew it the sun was down. After I took a shower there wasn't too much to do so I checked my email… again. Seeing 'No New Messages" made my throat tighten up and I felt the urge to curl up into a ball and wallow in my embarrassment. I didn't do that though I settled with lying in bed and allowing a few tears roll down the side of my face.


End file.
